


In The Middle Of The Night

by alllywinchester



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Erwin is worried, First Kiss, Fluff, Levi's cleaning like an idiot, M/M, also swearing because it's Levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:28:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24526897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alllywinchester/pseuds/alllywinchester
Summary: When Erwin hears weird noises in the middle of the night, he leaves his office to find out who or what disturbed him. But when he finds Levi on the floor, cleaning like he's out of his mind, he quickly wants to find out what's bothering him so much.
Relationships: Levi x Erwin - Relationship, Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 5
Kudos: 120





	In The Middle Of The Night

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language so please tell me if I make any mistakes.  
> If you don't like it, don't read it.  
> Other than that, I hope you enjoy my little cuties being there for each other.

It was long after midnight but Erwin still sat at his desk, filling out papers and writing reports on their last mission. The candle on the wooden table was the only light illuminating the room.

He was sure all the other soldiers were already sleeping, probably have been for the past few hours too. Well, at least as long as they weren't woken by nightmares. He also had them, everyone did.

Yawning loudly, Erwin leaned back against his chair, rubbing his tired eyes. He knew he should go to sleep, but what would be different if he did? There would still be work tomorrow, there would still be the heavy weight of nearly 200 soldier's deaths on his shoulders, there would still be the pain in his chest every time he looks into Levis eyes, knowing that he's the one responsible for his friends' death.

So he continued, scribbling down word after word, ignoring his dry, heavy eyes and the yawns trying to burst from his throat. It was still raining outside. The raindrops were hitting his window and every once in a while he could hear thunder roaring in the distance. It reminded him of the mission. Of Levis screams that could be heard from miles away. Of finding him, standing next to the dead titan in soaking clothes and staring at his friend's severed head laying on the ground.

 _It's my fault_ , Erwin thought once again, squinting his eyes shut while trying to forget the images. _I made them join, even though I knew they planned on killing me. But they were just so strong. The whole time I thought they would survive for longer._

He bit his lip, trying to focus on his work again. He wanted to finish the report, then he'd go to sleep for at least three hours until he had to get up for breakfast. He told himself that he had to finish the paperwork that's piled up on his desk since they came back yesterday. But in reality, he just hated to go to sleep. Because he wasn't in control of his mind when he was sleeping and sometimes it showed him pictures he just wanted to forget.

It was when he had almost finished the report, that other noises than the rain and thunder attracted his attention. It came from outside his office, from the hallways. At first there were footsteps, then something else he couldn't quite place.

Maybe some of the recruits were pulling a prank on him. He couldn't think of anything else that could make them come here in the middle of the night.

Huffing in annoyance, the blond got up from his desk. His muscles were stiff as he stood, from sitting on his chair for so long, so he quickly stretched before heading towards the door. He mentally prepared for giving them a lecture and already opened his mouth as his fingers reached for the door knob.

But as he saw what was going on out there, his mouth shut again.

Levi was kneeling on the floor in front of him, his eyes fixed on the wet brush he was holding in his hands. He was wearing one white cloth on his head, the other one covering his mouth and nose. Erwin now understood that the noise he had heard earlier was Levi scrubbing the floor. The younger man didn't even seem to notice his superior standing next to him, because he was so focused on his work. That's why he jumped when Erwin eventually spoke up.

"Levi, what are you doing?" Erwin asked him, his arms crossed in front of his broad, muscular chest. Levi recovered quickly from the shock, continuing to scrub the spot in front of him.

"What's it look like?" He muttered quietly. Erwin pursed his lips, not having any of his shit at this hour.

"You should really go to sleep, you've got training tomorrow."

"Piss off and let me do my work, Erwin. This is the last hallway, then I'm finished," The smaller man just said, putting the brush inside the bucket next to him to get it soaked before turning to the next spot.

Erwins brows furrowed at his comment and the man crouched down next to Levi, one knee on the floor. His mind went back to the last time he sat in this exact position. How Mike had pushed his face into the dirty puddle beneath their feet and how Levi had glared at him, the shocked and worried expressions of his friends beside him. He quickly pushed the thought aside.

"What do you mean with 'the last hallway', Levi? Where else have you already cleaned?" He asked, his voice gentle and careful. He could feel something wasn't right and didn't want to distress Levi even more.

"The stables, the showers and toilets, the basement, first and second floor, kitchen and dining hall. Oh and I also dusted the library, you should really do that more often, Erwin. I know you love your books but you should really take better care of them," Levi rattled off, as if it was something trivial.

But Erwin on the other hand, stood now with his mouth open again, staring down at the small man in shock. It was this moment he realized how much smaller than usual he actually looked. He could feel his heart ache at the sight of his subordinate.

"So you've been awake for how long exactly?" He eventually asked, his words nothing more than a breath with consonants.

"The last time was on our expedition. I've been cleaning since we came back," Levi said, scrubbing the brush over the dirty floor. Erwin has seen him cleaning before, but while usually his movements were pretty much skilled and well conceived, right now it was nothing less than frantic.

"Come on," Erwin said, holding out his hand for Levi. For the first time, the raven haired man looked up at him, gazing at his hand for a second, before continuing his work on the floor. "Levi, let's go inside. You must be exhausted and it's freezing cold out here."

"I told you, this is the last hallway so let me finish this-"

"You interrupted me as I was about to write the last paragraph of my report, so I guess we're even." Erwin got up, still reaching his hand out for the man at the floor. "Come in, Levi."

Levi frowned, his thin eyebrows pulling together and looking at Erwin in a rather discontent way. He gave in though, throwing the brush into the bucket with water and placing it next to Erwins door, then following the tall man inside.

Erwin had been right, it was much warmer in his office than on the dirty floor outside. Levi threw a disapproving glance at his dusty knees and quickly brushed as much of it off as he could. Then he leaned against one of Erwins book shelves, arms crossing over his chest and one foot against the wood behind him, while the other man leaned against his desk so they were facing each other.

There were a few moments of silence, in which Levis fingers subconsciously found the surface of the shelf behind him and brushed off the dust.

"What now?" Levi eventually spoke up. "Are you gonna lecture me about being up so late? Well, judging by your desk you're not really the one to do that, so..." While talking, Levi had pulled the cloth from his face. Erwin was shocked to see what laid underneath, apparent in the light of his candle now. Levis lips were dry and chapped, almost as white as the skin around them. There were dark circles under his eyes, which were red from the lack of sleep.

"How about we discuss what's wrong first?" Erwin countered, nodding at Levi with his head. The younger man furrowed his brows again, giving him a puzzled look. "Why you're cleaning, I mean."

"Why would you care?" He snapped at him, clutching his fingers tightly around his biceps.

"Because I can see that something's troubling you and I want to know the reason why so I can help you. We're a team now, remember? That means helping each other, not only during battles."

"Just stop pretending already, Erwin Smith. You know damn well why I'm here, how can you just ignore that? I tried, shit I _wanted_ to kill you. And you're acting here like we're fucking best buddies now." Levi pushed himself from the shelf, crossing the room so he was standing in front of Erwin. "Why would you care about my well-being, huh? You have every reason to hate me."

"But I don't, Levi. That's the point of this whole conversation," Erwin argued, not giving in as Levis sharp grey eyes locked with his. "I know why you are here. But I don't believe you when you say you wanted to kill me. No, you wanted to give your friends a better life. You wanted them to be happy and safe. That's the reason you are here, not because you were told to kill me."

"But why would that even matter now, you shitting son of a bitch? They're fucking dead in case you haven't noticed. Isabel and Farlan died! They're fucking gone!" Levi screamed the words now, feeling all emotions of the past few days bubbling up in his chest again. Suddenly the rage vanished, and a numb sensation spread in his chest. "They're gone and it's all my fault."

_Wait, what? No Levi, why would you say that?_

"It's all my fault because I left them. I thought I could protect them by killing you on my own. But in the end... I left them to die. It's my fault." A tear slipped down his cheek and dropped to the floor. Another one joined, then even more until a steady stream was dampening his face.

_Levi..._

The smaller man bit his lip, being the first one to break eye contact. He took a step back, eyes moving down towards his clothes. They seemed so dirty all of a sudden, every single stain, every speck of dust suddenly so painfully obvious to him. He felt a familiar kind of panic tickle the back of his neck again, as his face went even paler and his fingers limp.

"I-I have to clean," He said quietly, voice monotone, almost robotic. Erwin moved from his position at the desk as Levi headed towards the door.

"Levi, wait!" He called after the man, but Levi seemed to be in another world, his eyes wide and scared like the one of a hunted animal. Erwin's never seen this look in his eyes before and felt sick all of a sudden. "Please, talk to me-"

"No, Erwin. You d-don't understand, I-I have to clean," Levi continued his ramble, reaching for the doorknob. "Everything has to be neat and tidy. I can't just leave it like that." Erwin had crossed the room with two large steps in the meantime, grabbing the sleeve of Levis shirt before he could open the door.

"Levi?" He asked carefully. Levi looked up at him and the only thing Erwin could think at that moment was that now, he's completely lost his mind.

"You don't understand, Erwin. I-I have to clean," He repeated, then added, "T-This world is filthy and rotten and I have to clean it. I have to correct the mistakes, I have to do everything right... for them. I have to do it for them." Tears spilled again, leaving wet streams on his pale cheeks.

Erwin couldn't believe his eyes as he saw the broken man in front of him. He's lost his spirit for some reason, the fire in his eyes that Erwin had loved since the first time he looked into them.

It came naturally to him, as Erwin took one of Levis hands into his own. It was cold and he gasped in shock as he felt the tortured skin, damp from the water with cuts and cracked skin everywhere. He gently brought it up to his lips and placed a kiss on his bruised knuckles.

This seemed to snap Levi back into reality, at least a little bit.

"Levi. It wasn't your fault they died. I told you before." He brushed his thumb over Levis fingers while he talked. "Don't regret your decisions. Do you remember what I told you on the expedition?"

"Yes," Levi answered quietly. "I remember. But I... I can't stop thinking about it. I don't know what to do without them. I wanted to protect them until we were back so they could finally live a life in freedom. Isabel never wanted more than just to be free." Levis whole body was shaking from exhaustion, still he continued. "I can't stop thinking about how I found them. Her eyes seemed to look at me, yelling at me for taking her life and snatching away her dream. And Farlan... His body was torn to pieces. There was blood everywhere. I could see his insides. I've never seen so much blood in my life, Erwin. It's my fault, you can't deny it, it's my fault because I left them behind to kill you. And now I don't know what to do because I'm on my own again and I will forever stay lonely because my only friends just died and-"

Erwin didn't know what came over him as he suddenly bent down and shut Levi up by pressing his lips on top of his. They were chapped, but Erwin couldn't help but feel good at the sensation. He only stayed like that for a second though, before leaning back again.

Levi looked up at him with wide eyes, not able to process what just happened. His free hand reached up and touched his lips, where Erwins had rested just seconds ago, then he looked back at the gentle giant in front of him. Erwin had an unsure expression on his face. He was anxious as to wether Levi would kill him now or get him fired for taking advantage of a subordinate.

But Levi didn't plan any of that. Instead, he got up on his tiptoes, hands reaching around Erwins neck and pulling him down until their lips connected again. He wanted to feel this sensation again, that Erwins kiss had given him. It's only been for a second but still it showed him that there was more to his life than pain and that he could actually feel good, warm, loved, even if it was only for this moment.

Erwin kissed back eagerly, tasting dried tears on Levis lips and feeling his heart twitch once again. He never really realized how much he cared about the man. Sure, he knew what his mission was when he joined the Survey Corps, but that didn't stop him from worrying about his well-being all the time. But now, he finally understood what it was.

"You're not alone, Levi," He eventually whispered after breaking their kiss so they could catch their breaths. He still had his hands on each side of Levis face, foreheads leaning together. Levi nodded weakly, closing his eyes to stop the tears from spilling that were forming in his eyes again. But this time it wasn't from pain or grief. No, this time it was relief and love that made him cry.

"I'm so tired, Erwin," Levi said quietly, leaning against the blond as his body went slack and exhaustion from not sleeping for three days in a row washed over him like a wave. His mind was finally at ease, as long as Erwin was this close to him.

"Let's go to sleep. I think we both could use it." Erwin replied, then wrapped his arms around the small man, scooping him up and carrying him out of his office and down the hall to his room.

The light from the rising sun illuminated it as they entered and Erwin quickly found his way to the bed. He gently put Levi down, covering his small body with his blanket before slipping in next to him. It was only a single bed, so their bodies were pressed together, but Levi didn't even lose a remark at that. Instead, he cuddled even closer, burying his face in Erwins broad chest. The blond smiled, wrapping his strong arms around the tiny body in front of him.

"Levi?" He asked quietly. But Levi didn't give an answer, his breath was already deep and even. Erwin chuckled quietly at that. "I love you," He still finished his sentence, before leaning down to rest his chin on Levis head, breathing in deeply. He quickly fell asleep too, finally able to relax and forget about his paperwork. The only thing on his mind at this moment was the tiny, raven haired man cuddling against his chest, who made his head feel all fuzzy.

Little did he know that Levi had, in fact, heard his words but was too exhausted to give an answer. Though, he made a promise to return them first thing in the morning when he woke up again. But right now, Erwins presence, protection and his body that radiated an incredible heat that seemed to warm Levis heart again, was everything he needed to fall into a sweet, safe and especially _long_ sleep for the first time in what felt like forever.


End file.
